Mr N. Vander Wyst
123 Craft Hoarder Way Please Help Twp, NY 11111
OUS Rehabilitation Clinic
c/o Kaotic Ekko's Curiosities
ATTN: Head of Rehabilitation
555 We Can Help Ave.
Rehab anytime, Anystate 77777
November 13, 2009
To whom it may concern:
Please help! My wife, the Avalon of Avalon Studios, has managed to lose our toddler AND nine year old boy in the huge tidal wave of craft supplies that has taken over our home! This would make the eighth time this week. I have sent her to you in the hopes she comes out a better person.
The list of supplies is staggering. It will take an organizational crew a week of non-stop work just to get through the mess which includes but is not limited to: Beads, ornaments, gems, rocks, findings, dominoes, paints, glitter, fabric, cloth, pins, needles, patterns, paper of all kinds, pens, markers, stuffing, floss, and don't even ASK about the templates she's saved on her 2 one terabyte hard drives...she keeps printing copy after copy after copy!
I have decided to commit her to your facility until such a time as I can find our children and move to a different state and start a new life with new identities. This is the last act of a desperate man. I beg you to please, for the love of all that is holy, make her use the supplies or I fear we will all drown in the sea of them.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Mr. N Vander Wyst
Now Mr. Vander Wyst, before you steal off with the children, let OUS have a go! The first step is admitting there is a problem! ;)
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